WHAT WOMEN REALLY WANT – Part 5

by Nancy Van Pelt

A Woman Needs A Commitment to Family

A woman needs her husband to understand how much she needs him to commit time and attention to the family unit. A man should recognize that when he commits himself to spending quality time with his children, he automatically strengthens his marriage. His wife will respect and adore him for his efforts. Quality time involves time spent with a child other than in child-care tasks (such as feeding and dressing) in which positive interaction, and bonds of love and respect are developed.

What activities might a family engage in to enjoy quality time and meet the goal of strengthening bonds of love and respect? Here are some suggestions:

* Bike riding
* Reading aloud to the children before bedtime
* Attending church
* Teaching the children about financial planning
* Family meetings
* Conducting family worship and engaging the children in religious activities
* Board games such as Uno
* Sporting events
* A family project such as building a go-cart

Demonstrate to the children that it is fun to be together as a family. Show them how cooperation, sharing, respect, and encouragement are achieved. Children under the age of 12 can usually be guided into family activities without a problem. But once children enter their teen years, activities with peers usually take precedence. Parents of teens can only attempt to interest their children in well-planned events designed to interest them. If you begin family activities when your children are young, they will grow up with the concept.

Perhaps the most important concept that men need to learn is to work with their wives and not against them in the discipline and training of the children. When a child wants a privilege, it is granted only when Mom and Dad have discussed in private and can deliver an agreed-upon answer. When children know that they cannot play one parent against the other, they frequently stop challenging behavior. All privileges should be mutually agreed upon by Mom and Dad, or no action at all should be taken.

Sometimes it is difficult for men to take time for their families. They get involved in careers, church functions, responsibilities, and hobbies because these things are exciting to them. There are times when a man prefers working to going home because it satisfies his ego needs.

Every man needs to sort through his priorities. If changes need to be made, now is the time. The years are slipping by. Children grow up. Do your children really know you, or do they think of you as the man who sleeps here sometimes? Does your wife feel neglected? Unless you make some changes, one day you may wake up to find your children grown and your wife gone. There will be nothing you can do to bring them back.

A Godfather movie ends with a decrepit old man, rich beyond measure in material possessions but devoid of human love, sitting alone in a rocker out in the cold. What good is success and a big empty house?

Excerpted from Highly Effective Marriage, Chapter 13 by Nancy L. Van Pelt
time spent with a child other than in child-care tasks (such as feeding and dressing) in which positive interaction, and bonds of love and respect are developed.

What activities might a family engage in to enjoy quality time and meet the goal of strengthening bonds of love and respect? Here are some suggestions:

* Bike riding
* Reading aloud to the children before bedtime
* Attending church
* Teaching the children about financial planning
* Family meetings
* Conducting family worship and engaging the children in religious activities
* Board games such as Uno
* Sporting events
* A family project such as building a go-cart

Demonstrate to the children that it is fun to be together as a family. Show them how cooperation, sharing, respect, and encouragement are achieved. Children under the age of 12 can usually be guided into family activities without a problem. But once children enter their teen years, activities with peers usually take precedence. Parents of teens can only attempt to interest their children in well-planned events designed to interest them. If you begin family activities when your children are young, they will grow up with the concept.

Perhaps the most important concept that men need to learn is to work with their wives and not against them in the discipline and training of the children. When a child wants a privilege, it is granted only when Mom and Dad have discussed in private and can deliver an agreed-upon answer. When children know that they cannot play one parent against the other, they frequently stop challenging behavior. All privileges should be mutually agreed upon by Mom and Dad, or no action at all should be taken.

Sometimes it is difficult for men to take time for their families. They get involved in careers, church functions, responsibilities, and hobbies because these things are exciting to them. There are times when a man prefers working to going home because it satisfies his ego needs.

Every man needs to sort through his priorities. If changes need to be made, now is the time. The years are slipping by. Children grow up. Do your children really know you, or do they think of you as the man who sleeps here sometimes? Does your wife feel neglected? Unless you make some changes, one day you may wake up to find your children grown and your wife gone. There will be nothing you can do to bring them back.

A Godfather movie ends with a decrepit old man, rich beyond measure in material possessions but devoid of human love, sitting alone in a rocker out in the cold. What good is success and a big empty house?

Excerpted from Highly Effective Marriage, Chapter 13 by Nancy L. Van Pelt

Bookmark the permalink.

Comments are closed.